How Spider-Man Far From Home Should Have Ended


Okay… Finally done equipping my glasses with access to all my state of the art technology… for Peter in case I die. Now to just write some vague instructions to turn them on… and give them to Nick Fury, who will hopefully just hand them over to Peter one day. Here’s a bright idea. How about you DON’T give military grade death drone controlling 80’s glasses to an easily influenced hormonal teenager just because he has a foxy aunt. Oh dang! You’re right! Here you go Rhodey! ♫ And I… ♫ ♫ Will try not to forget you ♫ ♫ OooooOOooooooo ♫ ♫ But come on let’s be realistic ♫ ♫ Things change after time ♫ ♫ Oh yeah ♫ ♫ Oh but you were the best… ♫ ♫ When you were around ♫ Gone, but not forgotten. Five years ago half of the world blipped out of existence. but thanks to the acts of these mighty heroes… those who blipped away were saved. Well… everyone who wasn’t on an airplane. (screams) Or on a boat… (screams) Or people in high traffic areas. Okay I think they get it! It’s really nice to have someone to talk to about this super hero stuff. Anytime. Thanks. What the! uh oh!
Why are you a ghost? Whelp! Gotta go! Byeeeeeee! You’re up kid! Alright, Fire, try this on for size! What the heck? What is happening here? Whelp. Gotta go! Byeeeeeeeee! Now that is some bull crap. Fury wouldn’t say crap. Dang it girl! You’re gonna give me away! Oh man! I’m out of webs! I really wish their was a multiverse. Well lucky for you there is! What? Who are you?! We call it the Spider-verse, but yeah the multiverse is totally a thing. Hey. I’m Spider-Man. Whoa! And I’m the Amazing Spider-Man! Awesome! What makes you so amazing? I… I can ride a skateboard. Okay. And we’re all here too! Hey. Awesome! Let’s do this! Does anyone have any extra webs? Whoohoo Bam! Ha ha! What’s up drone? This little piggy went SMASH! Pew Pew Pew! You ever heard of the shoulder touch?! Yoohooo! (kiss) Kablamo! Edith, is this real? All illusions are terminated, Peter. Are we sure about that? I say we poke him with a stick! Ow! Stop! I’m dead! Yeah. He’s not dead. Dang it Edith! You got me? I got you. Holy crap! That was close! Well at least I didn’t die. Oh no there’s more! AAAAAGGGGGH! EDITH, terminate all the drones! I’m sorry. I can’t do that, Peter. What? Why? You have not been granted control from Quentin Beck. Sorry Pal. Oh my gosh! AAAAAGGGH! So the drones got him… Which was kind of sad. But now I can continue to manipulate the masses Because I’m a master illusionist. Oh you think you’re a master of illusions? Ha ha ha. Don’t make me laugh You’re a rip off of Syndrome at best. Exactly! Hey, Bubble Boy! Why don’t you take a seat next to the Mandarin over there And come back when you’re done copying me! I’m not copying you! If anything you copied me! You wish! You guys are just jealous because everyone finds me most attractive. (laughter) Yeah what about Killmonger? I mean me! I am obviously the most attractive Everybody shut up! I’m preparing for my return. I wish I could quit you. EDITH?
Yes, Peter? I’d like to transfer control to Quentin Beck. Quentin Beck Former Stark employee. What? Developed hologram projection technology. And was fired for being unstable. Are you serious? Multiple hologram drones detected. Former Stark employee. Is there something wrong? Do you still wish to transfer control, Peter? No! Cancel that request, EDITH! Give me those glasses! Hey do you have super strength? Because I do! My drones! My guy! My plan! After that Nick Fury took Mysterio and his gang away… I made out with MJ for a bit… Told her my secret identity. WHAT?!
WHAT?! Dude! You can’t give away your secret identity! Peter, Tony would want you to say… Well I did and I’m awesome so in your face. not now EDITH. What’s the big deal? I thought you tell girls your secret identity all the time. Of course I do! Do you know why? Because I’m an adult and I can handle it. You’re just a kid. He didn’t tell me. It was actually pretty obvious. Honestly I’m embarrassed the whole class hasn’t figured it out by now. You’re like always missing when Spider-Man is around… And you both sound exactly the same. That’s not obvious! We don’t sound the same. Does anyone else know your secret identity? Not really just a few people like… Aunt May… and Ned… and Happy… And Nick Fury… and Maria Hill… and Doctor Strange… And well actually all of the Avengers know But they’re all good guys! And that’s it? I guess I tell Mysterio my name And I hung out with him in what I thought was a public bar… without my mask on. I’m pretty sure the vulture knows your name too. And he’s still alive. hehe. Yeah you’re screwed. No you guys are being paranoid. I’ve got this under control. But that’s not all folks Here’s the real blockbuster! Brace yourself you might wanna sit down. Spider-Man’s real name is… (gasp) EDITH, disrupt this transmission! Of course Peter.
Spider-Man’s name… is… What?! That’s not true! I’m JJ Jameson! I’m not Spider-Man! Spider-Man is… What is happening, people!? Look. Here’s his photo! The real Spider-Man is… You are all fired! Whew! Hey. What’s up? Hey. Just calling to check in. So.. I think it went well. They don’t seem to suspect anything. Did you say Because I’m Batman? No. You gotta say Because I’m Batman. Why? Because I’m Batman! I’m sorry! The opportunity didn’t really present itself. I seriously doubt that. Well I don’t know what to do. They’re all gone now. Just don’t forget next time! Ugh! (sigh) Do you think we should head back? No! They got this. You don’t think that will create confusion? Make people question who’s real or not? No. Or how long they’ve been Skrulls? No. You don’t think sending Skrulls in our stead makes it look like we didn’t care about helping Spider-Man deal with his problems on Earth? You guys are ruining my space vacation! Where the heck are the Avengers?!

100 Replies to “How Spider-Man Far From Home Should Have Ended

  1. Okay so this is off topic, but how did they know that Palpatine was going to return when the trailers for TROS didn’t even come out yet, like y’all bamboozled me 😳🤭

  2. The beginning made perfect sense. I always wondered why Stark would make a pair of glasses with the acronym E.D.I.T.H., before he died.

  3. Did that scientist who talked to tony from the beginning have an insight of the future or something? I would have questioned tf outta that dude just for saying something like that

  4. 4:10 I’m surprised that didn’t happen. Along with a hidden code to prevent another party from using EDITH to hurt Peter. Seriously Tony was a paranoid man, he’d have installed precautions.

  5. I was thinking, if I gave a thing like E.D.I.T.H to a teenager I leave it programmed to obey only him

    You know… just for case

  6. You guys did make a mistake, when Hulk snapped everyone back to existence, he sent them to land safely. So no one fell out of the sky or into the sea, or in traffic

  7. I got to say I am sick of superhero identities just being automatically revealed, part of the reason superheros wear masks in the first place is to stay anonymous whats the point in peter wearing a mask if everyone knows its him he may as well not bother.

  8. Every one ask if overwatch character can defeat marvel character, well, here's one: Sombra & Mysterio.
    No I'm not mean Sombra' EMP can destroy the machine and illusion, do you remember the words? "If you hold the information, you hold all the cards." She can actually control the illusion and tell everybody the truth.
    Or maybe she become the next Mysterio?

  9. 05:39 ~ That should be switched with the movie’s ending and made canon, think do I. It makes more sense, as Parker was wearing his suit at the time, and either Tony Stark or Peter Parker are both abundantly intelligent enough to have F. R. I. D. A. Y. or E. D. I. T. H. continually running basic search parameters on the internet and all cable channels for basic red flags. Such as someone broadcasting Peter Parker’s S. I.

    Nonetheless, the reveal itself was r3t4rd3d for the writer/director to even suggest Beck even had the time, let alone foresight, to produce such fake news. He was so confident of his success he dropped the massive illusion. Why would he abruptly consider the possibility of failure a few seconds later…?…. The peon that swiped the thumb drive had what motivation to do it after the fact?… Even if the video itself was an illusion, it is very likely the peon would forget some element making it easily debunked. In addition, the authorities already know the truth; And, mob justice fails to be an acceptable thing in America.

    A better question is why did Mysterio’s combat drones look and act exactly like E. D. I. T. H.’s drones?… Why did it’s drones have compatible illusion tech already equiped and robust enough to do the job?… The first drone’s entry showed it’s stealth system only engaged after reaching target area. If Mysterio pulled them all down to refit them, then were and when did he do that?… With what money?… And, who supplied the massive amount of components?… Why didn’t Fury and Hill get reports of a massive column of smoke and vapor falling down from orbit?

    Tony Starke designed his A.I.s to be next to, if not fully sapient intelligences. Why would he program them to be so poor at language with a high schooler to mistakenly interpret Parker’s words as kill orders.?. Seriously, I am thinking J. A. R. V. I. S., F. R. I. D. A. Y., and Vision are deeply ashamed of E. D. I. T. H.

  10. 4:43 oh my gawwwd
    I finally understand that refernece. It was what iron man said in the pub for the first iron man movie to superman and Batman, about 9 years ago.
    You guys are legends!!!

  11. Well the blip joke was actually corrected by the Russo brothers,when hulk snapped his fingers,he wished for everybody who snapped be brought back SAFETLY

  12. You know if something like the blip actually happened imagine all the people that committed suicide due to well yeah that's dark and sad

  13. Actually they explain part of what happened here. Hulk transport of the people in dangerous areas to the safest land mass, relative to their original position.

  14. That last one deadass should've happened. That makes way too much sense. I see why now people get mad at certain films. Directors and scriptwriters really don't try to make sense to just force more story that makes no sense.

  15. FFH isn’t bad but wow does this sum it up. Edith WOULD have told Peter that he was a bad guy, and yeah at the end “where are the avengers” also Why wasn’t nick fury there anyways. Dr strange could have helped easily and he definitely knew what was going on

  16. When im hoping batman to say "because im batman" but he is not!
    Le me:he had us in the first half not gonna lie

  17. I knew that Batman was also a slurp in disguise cause the real one would say “Because I’m Batman”

  18. Peter tony would want you to say well I did so in your face . MJ: Actually I am impressed that no one has figured it out

  19. My favorite part honestly is that they didn’t make the Tobey Maguire Spidey a whining, blubbering mess. As someone who loved all three Raimi films, yes three, this is a plus for me.

  20. I wonder how the movie would had been like had it been Tony Stark against Mysterio due to all the tech.

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